Thursday, July 16, 2020

Resources for Grief





Several days after Ezekiel was born, I found myself scrolling through old Facebook posts in the middle of the night. I was searching for a post from an acquaintance who had posted several articles about grief after losing their baby boy the year before.

The Lord in his mercy brought this couple and their posts to my mind, and He used those posts and later, that friendship to comfort me in my grief, and point me to Jesus, the anchor of my hope.

Today, on what would have been Ezekiel’s 3rd birthday, I wanted to share some of the resources that were instrumental in pointing me to the hope of the gospel in my grief.

Obviously, every person experiences grief differently. These resources are not a checklist for “overcoming” grief, and they may or may not be helpful for everyone.  They are some of the ones that were most helpful for me.

The Bible is clear that Christians are NOT immune to suffering.

John 16:33 says, “I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.”
James 1:2-4 says “Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds,  for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness.

We should expect to suffer. The Lord allows suffering for those He loves, and He doesn’t waste anything. Everything He allows is for our eternal good and His glory.

In Matthew 7, Jesus tells the story of the wise man who built his house upon the rock. Even if you are not suffering now, I can’t encourage you enough to look through these resources. Build your life on the firm foundation of Jesus now. Understanding suffering in light of the gospel is so important. Not only will it be helpful for you when the storm does come, it will allow you to love and support others in their suffering.

I pray that you don’t find yourself searching for this post in the middle of grief. But if you do, I pray that the Lord uses it to comfort you and turn your eyes upon Him.

If you do find yourself searching for hope in the midst of grief, I would love to talk with you more.

With love,
Danyelle


·         Video: "What Grieving People Really Wish You Knew About What Helps (and What Really Hurts)" Nancy Guthrie
https://vimeo.com/167483885
This was one of the original posts that was helpful to me. SO often people want to be helpful, and they just don’t know how. This short video is helpful for those around you, but it was also helpful to me in remembering to have grace for others when they don’t say the “right” thing.

·         Nancy Guthrie Books: Hearing Jesus Speak Into Your Sorrow     https://www.amazon.com/Hearing-Jesus-Speak-into-Sorrow/dp/1414325487/ref=sr_1_2?crid=1R6IWVKI9ENCX&dchild=1&keywords=hearing+jesus+speak+into+your+sorrow+nancy+guthrie&qid=1594921726&sprefix=hearing+Jesus+speak+nancy+guthrie%2Caps%2C509&sr=8-2
If you read nothing else – please read this. This book addresses the hard questions we have about a good God in the midst of suffering.

·         Nancy Guthrie Books: Holding Onto Hope
Nancy Guthrie lost two babies to a rare genetic disease. This book is part of her story, and includes a bible study on the book of Job.  (I think anything by Nancy Guthrie is great, but I will limit my suggestions to these. J)

·         Walking with God through Pain and Suffering, by Timothy Keller
This book is great if you are looking for a biblical understanding of suffering. I’ll be honest, I haven’t actually finished reading it- it’s a hard read. What I have read has been great.

·         Sermon: A Christian’s Happiness
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t4r6ueJ7xVI
This is a 20+ year old sermon that a friend sent me after Ezekiel was born. I listened to it on repeat in the months after. Based on Romans 8, it talks about what God has actually promised us, and where our happiness as Christians comes from.

·         Songs: Though You Slay Me – Shane & Shane
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qyUPz6_TciY
This song was also on repeat for months. The chorus says, “Though you slay me, yet I will praise you. Though you take from me, I will bless your name. Though you ruin me, still I will worship, sing a song to the one who’s all I need. ” There were many (most) days, that I could not sing this. It was my prayer. The message from John Piper in the middle of the song was a balm to my soul.

·         Song: Show us Christ: Sovereign Grace Music
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gk2Y7WoM4h4
Based on the verse in John 6:68, “Simon Peter answered him, “Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life.” Often in grief I came back to this verse. As hard as it was to trust the Lord, only Jesus offered any real hope. 

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