REJOICE IN THE LORD, ALWAYS

^“Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice.”

Philippians 4:4

This week we have rejoiced in the Lord, and the good sweet gift of our daughter Adelle.

When we found out we were expecting in March, we were incredibly thankful. A positive pregnancy test was an answer to a year and a half of prayer. Our excitement was real, as was our fear. We knew that a positive pregnancy test did not necessarily equal a promise of a healthy baby, and yet our desire was to celebrate every day of life the Lord granted us.

As the weeks passed, we began to make plans. We struggled day by day to trust in God’s sovereignty, and were constantly reminded that “having faith” meant trusting the Lord to be good no matter what happened, not a blind assurance that He would do what we wanted.

In June, I traveled back to Texas in order to have access to the best medical care and resources possible. Our son Ezekiel was born prematurely at 30 weeks (7 months), and we wanted to do whatever we could to be prepared for a similar situation. Franco stayed in Bolivia until August to continue with ministry responsibilities and because of his visa situation.

The two months we were apart were hard and emotional, but we were overwhelmed with gratitude for the generosity of those that gave of their time, finances, prayers and generosity to make it possible.

When Franco arrived in August we breathed a collective sigh of relief. However, we were also nearing the 30 week mark of pregnancy, and I expected to go into labor any day. Although the doctors said Adelle was healthy and growing, I had my hospital bag packed, and by the door. As the days passed, the idea that we might really have a baby became more and more real. Each week I watched my videos about baby’s development, and read about the risks of premature babies and the odds of survival. I alternated between planning for coming home from the hospital, and thinking about what songs I would sing at a funeral. I praised God for the kicks inside of me, but hesitated to take the tags off of anything, because I still wasn’t sure I would be able to use it.

In September, my sister moved to Northern Ireland to study, and my parents went with her. While they were traveling, we went for a check-up, and the sonogram technician suddenly got quiet. She was concerned about signs of early labor, and my doctor agreed. Before going home, I was given my first round of steroid shots to help mature Adelle’s lungs in case she was born early. I was also put on bed rest, and I was sure she would be born any day. Since Franco doesn’t drive in the USA, my mom sent out a request to her friends, and we were immediately taken care of. Dear friends and family were so gracious in serving us, visiting us, bringing groceries, delivering meals, taking us to doctor’s appointments, picking up prescriptions, etc… We were reminded that even in difficult circumstances, God shows His love for us through His people, and we could trust Him in whatever was to come.

As time passed, we were amazed that Adelle continued to grow. A sweet friend was teaching me to knit, and I spent my days knitting this blanket, and reflecting on the fact that as I knit this blanket, God was knitting Adelle together in the womb. As I made mistake after mistake, I marveled at the fact that God does not.

On Wednesday, October 16^th, two years and three months after Ezekiel was born, Franco and I woke up about 4:30 am, anxious to get to the hospital for our scheduled C-section at noon. I took my time getting ready, because I wanted to make sure that I had pictures with Adelle when she was born. With Ezekiel everything happened so fast and unexpectedly that we were only able to take a few pictures of him in the incubator before he went to be with the Lord.

Leaving for the hospital!

The drive to the hospital seemed surreal. I couldn’t believe we had made it to term at 37 weeks of pregnancy. It was a miracle! When we got to the hospital, we walked up to the admissions desk, and I informed them I was there for my c-section. As if it was as normal as checking in to any other appointment I had ever had. The sweet volunteer asked if it was our first baby, and I told her it was, because that seemed easier. She grinned when I told her it was a girl, and she informed me I should start saving for the wedding! Ha! We are still saving for the birth!

After a few minutes, we were called back to prepare for surgery, and we spent the next two hours being poked and prodded and monitored.

Finally, at noon, they took me to the operating room, and Franco changed into his scrubs. I had read online that Oct. 16^th was World Anesthesia Day, so I congratulated my anesthesiologist as he administered the anesthesia. He didn’t know about it, but I assured him Wikepedia said it was.

As they began the surgery, I waited for Franco to come in and listened to Gwen Stefani’s “Hollaback Girl” on the radio in the background. Hopefully that isn’t a sign of things to come, but it made me laugh.

A few minutes after Franco arrived, the doctors lowered the curtain, and we heard the first sweet cries of our daughter. We cried tears of joy and relief as she continued to cry. Franco went to be with her, and I waited impatiently for them to bring her back to me. As I held her, I praised God for bringing her safely into the world.

Now we are home, and we continue to praise God for every moment He gives us with her. Even the 2:00 am diaper changes and feedings feel extra sweet, because we know what it is to wake up at 2:00 am and NOT have a diaper to change.

We love to watch her facial expressions, and imagine what her life will look like and who she will be. But sometimes, I look at her face, and I see her brother. In those moments the grief is fresh, and I am amazed at how similar they look. I watch her face move, and remember the moments that I stared at her brother’s still face thinking of Lazarus rising from the grave.

And in those moments, I am reminded of the verse:

 ^“Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice.”

Philippians 4:4

In the days after Ezekiel was born, I wrote in the margin in my Bible beside this verse, “Not when you want to rejoice – rejoice always!” It has often been a struggle since then, but I have learned that I am rejoicing in the Lord, and His finished and saving work on the cross. I am rejoicing in my good, loving Father, who allowed His son to take my sin and shame upon Himself. I am rejoicing in a God that was not only with me in my suffering, but a God that shared in my suffering Himself.

Even now, as I am grateful for, and rejoice in the good and undeserved gift of a healthy baby girl, I am ultimately called to rejoice in the Lord and who He is, not only in what He chooses to give.  

We are IMMENSELY grateful for SO many of your prayers, your generosity, and sacrifices you have made. We pray that today as you read this, whether you are rejoicing in the Lord and His good gifts, or rejoicing in the Lord and His hard gifts, you feel the joy and peace that surpass understanding.