My original goal was to post a blog every week with an update, but the last few weeks I have had a hard time thinking of anything to write that would be interesting enough to read!
I don’t know that this is actually interesting enough to read, but I do want to be honest and realistic, and not just post when things are going really well (AKA how I want them to go). :)
Over the last two years, I have had the opportunity to work with pre-school and kindergarten age kids at church. Each week the kids learn a story that shows a characteristic of God. There are five main characteristics of God that the kids learn, and two of them are that God is good, and that God is in charge of everything. Those both sound like such basic things, but over the last year, the Lord has sweetly reminded me of areas in my life where I have not fully believed them. I don’t often doubt that He is able, but I do doubt that He knows and wants what is ultimately best. If I believe that God is in control of everything, AND that He is good, there is a peace that goes beyond what I can explain. That doesn’t mean God is a genie and gives me everything I ask for, but it does mean He does what is best – whether I understand or not.
So the other day as I sang “I Surrender All”, I caught myself praying, “I’ve surrendered everything…why are you taking so long to bring this visa in?!” In that moment, I was so convicted of the fact that I obviously have NOT surrendered everything. Although I know God is in charge, I don’t trust Him to be good. I too often want my timeline to work more than I want God’s will. God is infinitely wiser than I am. He created the world, and knows what is to come. So who am I to demand that God work in the way or time that I think would be best?
I once heard someone say that God answers our prayers the way we would pray them if we knew the big picture. I am confident of the fact that God hears the cries of His children. I also know that like children, sometimes we ask for things that are not really want we need. I am thankful that God in His mercy doesn’t give us what we ask for, but in love, like a good parent, He answers us according to His goodness by giving His presence.
And He is always enough. :)